Some parents opt from the get go to co-sleep and/or bed share, that parent was not me. I knew from day one I wanted Cora Beth to sleep in her crib. Even if I did have to get out of bed and stumble into her room every 2 hours! Honestly, her sleeping in her crib went great! She was even sleeping through the night (all the praise hands!) until she hit about 5 months….
She started waking up a couple times a night again but this time she’d start crying as soon as I put her back in her crib. And before I knew it she was in bed with me almost every night. At one point I’d lay her down in my bed, she’d peek one eye open to look around, made sure she was in my bed and then (I kid you not) would nestle her little body to get all cozy and comfy (can you say rotten?)! At the time though, my husband was still deployed and I’ll admit my bed was a little lonely. Plus I knew it wouldn’t last forever.
Flash forward to now, my husband is home and our bed seems a lot smaller! Baby girl still wants to sleep with Mama. The night starts with her in her crib (so my husband and I thankfully have a little alone time) but around anywhere from 11pm-2am she wakes up. It’s partly my fault because I’m too tired and it’s easier to feed her in our bed. Other times though as soon as I lay her back in her crib after eating she cries. I honestly don’t think I’d mind her sleeping with us if she was still. But y’all this sweet tiny person CONSTANTLY moves! In addition to that she doesn’t want to sleep BY me she wants to sleep ON me! So imagine a night of constantly being kneed in the stomach. Needless to say, I don’t get much sleep these days! I so want her to sleep in her own crib! I know some people love to co-sleep but I’m not one of them.
About once a week she will sleep in her crib for the entire night (usually with one night feeding though) and I actually get some sleep and am able to feel like a human being. What’s so funny though is on those nights I miss her… I find myself weirdly sorta, kinda, but also not really hoping she’ll wake up and want to come into bed with us. Even though I don’t sleep when she’s on me the pressure on her body relaxes me especially if I’m having a day where I’m feeling anxious. The nights she cries shortly after placing her in her crib, as so as I pick her up her whole body just relaxes and she nestles into me. It just melts my heart!
No matter how badly I want sleep and personal space I can’t bring myself to deny this sweet baby of mine the comfort she seeks by being close to me. But that’s often part of being a mama, sometimes giving up your comfort for the comfort of your baby. This is just a season though, I know one day she’ll be back sleeping in her room that worked so hard on for her. And I know when that day comes I’ll probably miss her needing me to fall asleep.
I may be lacking sleep but I’m certainly not lacking love and cuddles. I’d trade all the sleep in the world for this cutie!
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