This past year has been a hard one. And I hate to write these words out but I’ve felt so far from the Lord. A part of me has been frustrated with Him because of deployment, and and even after my husband’s return his job still keeps him away more days than not. Becoming a mom has a learning curve and I was at point of just surviving. No thriving was happening on my part. I was having a hard time getting in the Word myself let alone including Jesus in my baby’s routine.
I can’t believe it but I actually made a quilt! I’ve wanted to make one probably since around 2014. No idea why, I just always thought it would be neat to make one. There’s just something cozy about a homemade quilt. This is not a tutorial by the way because when I say I pretty much had no idea what I was doing, I mean it. A good friend of mine has a mother-in-law who quilts and she showed her how to make one. Once she had made one I had her show me how and then pretty much text her for every step as I was making it! Bless you Lexi! But I actually got more than I bargained for with this project of mine.
Before coming to know Jesus I tried to fill the God-sized hole in my heart with things. I was lustful for things, clothes I wouldn’t wear, journals I wouldn’t even write in, candles I wouldn’t burn. You name it, if it was pretty I wanted it. Now that I know Jesus as my Savior I know that no amount of stuff can bring me joy, only He can do that. But my habit of wanting things is a harder habit to kick than I thought. When I have a bad day I can sometimes find myself wanting to go buy something to make me feel better instead of just turning to God in prayer.
Christmas is quickly approaching and I often get frustrated that as a society we’ve created Christmas to be about gifts, songs, movies and decorations. We’ve changed the symbol of Christmas from a cross to a tree.
We all want to feel known. We want our family and friends to know our likes and dislikes and our ins and outs and for them to just “get” us. Every single person wants to feel known, no one is immune to it.